Here’s something I’ve been seeing at the 99¢ Only store for a while, and I’ve decided to share it with you.
It’s hair donut — the donut for the hair.
What makes hair donut bueno?
It’s bueno just by virtue of not being the kind of hair donut that has you pulling long brown strands out of your cruller (and your teeth) and threatening to call the health department on the little pastry shop on the corner for lapses in hairnet protocol.
What’s more, for those of you who’ve fantasized about the forbidden love between man and Muppet — the love that dare not speak its name…
…well, for just 99¢ only, you can cross another item off your bucket list.
AS REGULAR READERS of this blog know, I have a tendency to see similarities between celebrities that no one else does. Maybe I just have a keener eye for these things; maybe it’s chronic macular degeneration and early-onset glaucoma coupled with the cucumbers I had for dinner. Who can really say?
For instance, I think we all remember the time when I was convinced that Bob Odenkirk was a dead-ringer for the guy who played the Scarecrow in “The Wizard of Oz.” That is, we’d all remember that time if I bothered to post my findings here. But no, I chose not to, shamed as I was after I mentioned it to a few friends who decided I was “smoking crack.”
(I no longer think Odenkirk looks like Ray Bolger, but I was watching the third episode of “Better Call Saul” a few weeks ago and there’s a scene when he’s in his car and he looks exactly like Kevin Costner for a few moments. And for the record, thanks to random testing, I’m still clean.)
Anyway: My latest issue of Entertainment Weekly came in the mail the other day, and this is the cover, featuring Taraji P. Henson and Terrence Howard from the hit new Fox show “Empire”:
Now, I’m not too familiar with Taraji’s body of work, but something about her and that vamp-like pose seemed very familiar…
Then it struck me:
She looks just like Lily Munster!
You see it, don’t you?
I mean, just give her a widow’s peak and a skunk stripe and she’s Lily!
Now maybe that’s not the perfect “Munsters” still to make my case, but if you think I’m going through seventy episodes to get a screen grab of Lily in a pose identical to the EW cover, you’ve got another think coming, bub.
And take heart, Taraji, if you’re reading this: Looking like the Munster matriarch is not a bad thing at all; Lily was indeed quite attractive. (However, Terrence Howard bears little resemblance to Herman, eh, thankfully for him.)
“So now,” you, what, six readers ask, “what exactly do we do with this information?”
Good question. Here’s my thought: I think this is where we all get on board and do one of those internet petitions where we try to get her to play Lily Munster in something. Why not? Seems like a worthy cause.
…Really, just — just anything to rid the foul taste still in our collective mouths from that god-awful “Mockingbird Lane” pilot from 2012, right?
It’s always interesting to me, and now you, when I find items in thrift stores that were obviously part of a collection…and then were donated all at once.
Here we see not a big collection, but evidently a collection nonetheless.
I consider myself fairly well-versed in the realm of tacky souvenirs, but the ceramic “I Got A Kick Out Of…” bottom-of-a-foot is a new one on me. Thimbles, egg timers, oversized novelty pencils, salt & pepper shakers, mugs, shot glasses — I’ve seen them all as tourist trinkets.
These things? Nope; never noticed ’em before.
And yet, as we can see above, they exist.
Too small for a spoon rest, not deep enough for use as an ashtray, they were maybe 3″ to 3-1/2″ long, so I don’t know if they served a purpose other than to gather dust as a knick knack.
Why would someone decide on collecting these? Aside from the Guadalajara one, there’s very little in the way of variety — the others were probably cranked out by the same manufacturer (and “Recuerdo De Guadalajara” was likely made by some other company creating a mold from one).
Were they just “cute” to the buyer, and purchased all by him or her?
Or did he or she just buy one, and then — egads! — a visitor noticed it on a shelf in the den and later gave another as a gift after going on a trip…? And then someone else saw the then two of them…and gave one more and thus, the collection grew, quickly and exponentially metastasizing into something increasingly horrific with each well-meaning friend’s return from vacation…until finally, there were — dear God above! — seven of them?!
And then what prompted someone to suddenly get rid of them?
Seems unlikely you’re going to collect these, actively or passively, and suddenly experience a moment of clarity where you see them for the hideous things they are, and so out they go.
Nope. Someone died. That’s my guess.
Grandpa finally kicked the bucket and Grandma, perhaps feeling a little guilty (or perhaps not), quickly rid her home of them, the only lingering reminders of the concession she’d made to his foot fetish after she said no to letting him sniff her navy blue canvas slip-ons with the little red anchor on the top.