AS regular readers of this blog know, I’m currently visiting my father — “Father,” as he is known — here in Virginia.
Like you would, if he was your father, I rooted around in his cabinets. Figured maybe I’d change everything around in a manner that makes sense to me, as opposed to whatever ridiculous system he’s used to.
Elderly folks love when their visiting children do stuff like that!
Anyway, I came across two of his more exotic spices — “salt” and “pepper.”
Why, here they are now — ladies and gentlemen, let’s give them a big, big hand!
Upon close inspection of these salt & pepper shakers, it occurred to me to wonder — as it would occur to you to wonder if he was your father — why the hell are the tops of them all dented in?
What’s going on here?
They’re not outrageously misshaped, but there’s some dentage there, oh yes!
Then I realized, Father, he’s a man’s man! He seasons his damn food like he means it!
That must be it! Mystery solved!
However, we can’t rule out that those dents didn’t come from him throwing them at the noggin of the last know-it-all kid who decided to reorganize his home.
“Oh, yes, I can’t believe I put it off for so long! Who needs television, anyway?
“Ever since I cut the cord, I’m finding all kinds of time to do so many other things I enjoy!”
“And how nice of you to visit…with your plain, solid color jacket, and your unembellished purse, and oh my, that magnificent wide expanse of unblemished skin on your forehead and…hey, come back here!”