1. And Today, Too, In Exciting New Banner Ads That Inspire Confidence In The Consumer!

    I don’t know about you, but if I was considering studying a new language, I’d probably want to go with the outfit that placed this online ad:


    Because when you think of it, really, does there exist a more apt image that conveys learning a foreign tongue than a little boy’s head with a cutaway view of an enormous spider feeding on the little tot’s brain? It just feels right somehow.

    But it’s their deft command of English (“If you can’t speak a 2nd languages…”) would definitely seal the deal for me.

    Posted by on February 7, 2015, 3:25 AM.

  2. Today In Exciting New Banner Ads That Inspire Confidence In The Consumer!


    I don’t know about you, but nothing says “loan refinancing professionals” to me like a cartoon hand missing the last joints of its fingers but with enormous black, irregular nails. Sign me up!

    Update (2/13/15): A pal found this online…


    …and sent it my way, showing us that it’s not just one idiotic online display ad, but an entire idiotic online display ad campaign (if two ads constitute a campaign, and for the sake of this blog post, they do).

    Anyway, thanks to our eagle-eyed reader who submitted it, and who would have been receiving an official Ted Parsnips “I’m An Idiotic Online Display Ad Spotter For Ted” t-shirt if he’d bothered to enclose his mailing address. And also if I had such t-shirts printed up, but I don’t — like I have money for that crap!

    Yes, yes, yes, “Well, Ted, maybe if you refinanced your home and got a better deal on your life insurance, you could afford such things.”  Aaah, get outta here!

    Posted by on February 2, 2015, 11:55 AM.

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