¿What’s Bueno? Kitchen Keepers EZ Egg Cook!

SAW these at Dollar Tree recently.

These are knockoffs of those As Seen on TV “Eggies” that one uses to hard boil eggs. (Or “hard cook,” if you’re British.)

Here, though, they’re sold singly. But since the original “Eggies” come six to a box, you’ll probably save money buying them at your local Dollar Tree. Even if you find a good deal online for “Eggies” (And I know you’re looking for a good deal on “Eggies.” In this economy, who isn’t?), even if you find a good deal online for “Eggies,” you still have to pay some inflated shipping price.

“Uh, yeah, Ted, whatever. I think we’re fine hard-boiling [or hard-berling, if you’re from 1950s Brooklyn] eggs as we’ve always done. But, uh, yeah, thanks for the tip.” 

Oh, don’t be such a jackass!

Look, I’m no shill for Dollar Tree items (usually, it’s stuff from the 99¢ Only Store!), but in this case, I think I should point out why you need these things, if only by drawing attention to the egg bullet-pointed benefits on the front of the package:

Right on your stove top! No more chasing eggs all around the electric wok with your wife’s hair dryer when you suddenly get a hankering for a Cobb salad! No longer will you have to squeeeeze those eggs into the toaster while hoping – hoping! – the shells will hold! (They never do!)

Thank God! I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had my Bedazzler all ready to go and just as I’m about to attach a few rhinestones, my egg will slip right out of the vice, roll off the work bench, and down on the ground where it ends up covered in wood shavings or sprinkles (depending on whether I was last working on my boat or decorating cupcakes).

Hours of peeling – suddenly gone!  The days of getting up at four a.m. to get started on the egg salad for lunch are over!

Your choice is clear! Buy these egg things!

Posted by Ted on December 29, 2012, 4:11 PM.