Stickin’ It To The Eye “Health Care” Industry!

HERE’S SOMETHING you’ll enjoy pondering with me.

I was at my local Walmart recently — oh, save your indignation! I saw you there last year on Black Friday, snatching away the last of the 80″ flat panel HD Smart LCD 3D TVs from some poor pregnant woman with six kids in tow who was going to use her SNAP benefits and a couple of EBT cards to buy it, so you can just take your holier-than-thou attitude about me shopping at Walmart and stuff it!  And also, continue reading!

—Ahem, as I was saying, I was at my local Walmart recently, and I saw this:

Now this honestly confused me. Why does anyone need more than one contact lens case, let alone a dozen cases, sold here in a “Value Pack”…?

I mean, you only have one set of eyes, right? You’ve only got one prescription.

And here’s where you gain new respect for me, all because of this:

That, above, ladies and gentlemen, is the contact lens case I received from my optomwhosis when I first got contact lenses…

…in 1988!

I’ve used it for 27 years! I’m not kidding!

I mean, it has to be the same one. I don’t remember ever going out and buying a new case. I’d have no reason to. This one works fine!

And lest you think it’s filthy-dirty, take a gander below:

Here it is, open, still wet from the remnants of last night’s saline solution, and clean as a whistle, I might add.

Here’s the inside of the caps…

…and they’re pristine and still have their rubber rings in perfect working order, not dried out or cracked. I don’t know if they even make contact lens cases with rubber rings like that anymore!

Update!  Yes, an update before I’ve even published this!

It seems they still make something very similar to mine, but not exactly like it.

Look. Look!

And I notice this on package…

Pphpt!  Yeah, “Change Your Lens Case Monthly” — if you want to piss your money away!

So according to Bausch & Lomb, I’m supposed to change my lens case eight to twelve times more often than I change my so-called “two-week disposable” lenses!  What a crock!

I’m kidding about that last part of course. I change my lenses much more regularly. Sure.

[Dr. Emerson, if you haven’t retired (or died) and you’re reading this, I’ll be in for my overdue eye exam next week. Hopefully it’ll be cloudy. Hurts to see when the sun’s out.]

Anyway, while we’re on the subject of the amazing longevity of my health & hygiene accouterments, check out my toothbrush!

Got it in my stocking, Christmas 1976, and she’s served me well ever since!

Posted by Ted on October 12, 2015, 4:22 PM.