1. Shower Caddy!

    I HATE to ruin your day but this story needs to be told.

    A little less than four years ago I bought a shower caddy. It was expensive, too: $24.95. But I had one of those 20% off coupons that Linens-n-Things included in their flyers. So that brought it down to $19.96. Plus tax. (And brother, do they ever shaft you with the sales tax in California, hooo-whee!)

    Why on earth would I pay enough money for a night on the town on a shower caddy? Because it was stainless steel and guaranteed for life. Let me repeat that because it’s going to become important later: Guaranteed for life. I was also probably a little overwhelmed from votive fumes. (Their candle section was truly second to none.)

    As for “Guaranteed for Life,” this was an actual guarantee printed on the back of the paper that was stapled around the thing. If it ever got rusty, the manufacturer promised me they’d replace it.

    Okay, are you ready for this? The sense of angry indignation you’re about to feel on my behalf is quite justified. Quite justified indeed. Look:

    Ignore the mold in the grout on the left there. Also all the soap scum build up. (I let that thief Ildefonsa go two months ago after I discovered she was taking my beer cans out of the trash and turning them in for the redemption value.) I want you to focus on the rust.

    And to help you focus on the rust, we’re going in for – yes! – a closeup!

    Are you as disgusted as I am? Good.

    Now here’s what’ll further enrage you – and I want you good and mad. I save every goddamn instruction book, every guarantee, every bit of warranty information…

    …in this nice box that I even labeled with its contents. I specifically remember saving the damn shower caddy paperwork…

    …but now I can’t find it! (Probably Ilda again. Oh, don’t worry, I called Immigration.)

    So unless one of you steps up to the plate here, I am royally screwed. The damned caddy rusted and those pricks owe me a new one but I have no idea who made it. And oh yes, I already talked to my attorney about dragging Linens-n-Things into this for a quick five figure settlement, but that’s not what I’m after. Plus he told me to forget it because they’d filed for bankruptcy shortly after I bought this thing. (Coincidence? Hmm.)

    Here’s the deal: Among the tens of thousands of regular readers of this blog, odds are a few hundred of you own this same model of shower caddy. The first one who gets me the name of the company, as well as your paperwork which I presume you saved (a scan is useless, you’ll need to send it to me via certified mail), gets his (or her, ladies) name mentioned in a future blog post!*

    On your mark…Get set…Go find that warranty information!

    *Upon receipt of new caddy or satisfactory financial restitution from manufacturer.

    Posted by on June 9, 2011, 9:00 AM.

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