Magoo 2014! Episode One! Hogan’s Helper!
IT’S been far too long since I’ve debuted a new “regular” feature that I’ve subsequently given up on after one or two entries here at Ted Parsnips Dot Com. What’s been so frustrating is that some of them actually had merit and could have potentially become a thing here on the ol’ blog, but I haven’t the time! You don’t know what I’m up against!
It’s with that thought in mind, I hereby debut a new one, and it’s the worst one ever!
Establishing shot: Exterior of Walmart, or some sort of funny “take” on Walmart’s name, and it’s drawn all stylized an’ stuff; you know, like in the old UPA cartoons. (Not those 1970s DePatie-Freleng monstrosities, right guys?)
And then we cut to a shot of this:
Magoo: By George, Hogan’s Heroes on Blu-Ray! Ah, memories. ‘I zee nothing!’ Ha ha! That bumbling Sergeant Schultz, bless his soul. [turning angry] What?! Seasons 1, 2 and 3? Why, the show didn’t even hit its stride until the fourth season! Imagine, putting out a box set of only the first three seasons! It’s ‘entire series’ or nothing! They won’t be getting any of my hard-earned money! Not one red cent! [wheeling cart – wait, wait: wheeling squeaky cart – into DVD section] Now, Cholly, let’s find something for dinner.
Cholly: Okay, Missah Magloo!
[Note: I realize Cholly didn’t come along until the TV show, but in an effort to be ethnic-inclusive for modern audiences, I felt it important to include him.]