1. Irony, Walmart-Style

    LIKE YOU, I have no ethical problem shopping at Walmart. As long as they keep me distracted by low prices, really, how am I supposed to worry about anything else?

    Well, let me tell you, brother, I was jarred right back into reality- right back into reality! – the other day when I saw a display of these on an endcap (industry term):


    So for five dollars American, you can get a little Walmart shopping basket filled with toy groceries. And who wouldn’t want such an item? No one, that’s who! Look at it, it’s adorable!

    Sounds good, huh? You’d like one, right?

    Not so fast, pal!

    Here’s the thing: This particular location – West Hills Walmart, at 6433 Fallbrook Avenue – famously (or should I say infamously) has no actual, regular-sized baskets in the store! None! Zero! Not! A! One!

    You get that? The actual item on which this toy is based is not available for customer use in the very store where these are sold!

    If that’s not irony, well…  Well, let’s just consider it irony because it’s late and I don’t have the time to look up whatever term might better describe this phenomenon. If such a term exists.

    The idea behind West Hills Walmart intentionally not offering baskets is so that, presumably, customers will instead just grab a shopping cart – a vessel much larger, and in turn with a much larger capacity than a standard hand-held basket – and then they’ll fill that up with all those great Walmart values!

    Which actually came in handy, because I got one of these babies for each of you.

    Look under your seats!

    I got one for you, and I got one for you, and for you, and for you and you and you!  Yep, you got it – it’s the annual Ted’s Favorite Things post!  You came to the blog on the right day, gang!

    Now to head over to Twitter and see if there’s any possible way to edit all this brilliance down to 140 characters, keeping all the wit intact. And if anyone can do it, it’s me!

    Posted by on December 23, 2014, 3:43 AM.

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