HERE’S one that even the breakfast cereal websites won’t touch.
I hereby offer, for your looking-at pleasure, a box of Fruit Rings:
Available at your local Dollar Tree, this sweetened multi-grain cereal with the taste of fruit looks good enough to eat!
As for its mascot, a friendlier, funnier fellow we’ve never seen. The perfect spokescreature for venerable Fruit Rings, you’ll agree. But wait…!
Let’s move down the aisle eighteen inches or so…
And, brother, you’re not going to believe this!
Yes! You’re saying exactly what I said! “Do the Fruit Rings people know that Cocoa Rounds stole their mascot?”
Ah ha, but how do we know that it’s not Fruit Rings who stole him from Cocoa Rounds?
Clearly, we needed to get to the bottom of this. So I had someone look into it and it turns out that both cereals are made – deep in South America’s cereal bowl, Argentina – by the same manufacturer! So there’s no copyright infringement at all! Call off your lawyers, Fruit Rings and Cocoa Rounds – you’re on the same team!
So why the good goddamn couldn’t they have made the Cocoa Rounds guy brown or something? That’s what you or I would have done and we’d have been right to do it.