Target’s 2011 Halloween Nightmare!
REMEMBER TWO YEARS AGO when stupid, easily-offended, over-sensiti– …eh, when thoughtful, concerned people everywhere were up in arms over an amusing if obvious pun that somehow manifested itself into a Halloween costume of an illegal alien? Only the illegal alien wasn’t the good terrestrial kind but an evil, bloodthirsty outer space alien, like ALF or Gazoo or Mork or Chaz? Of course you remember it, and we all had a good laugh over the whole thing. …Eh, that is to say – we were all very upset. Very upset, sure.
Here’s a link in case you don’t remember, and don’t get your panties in a bunch: Yes, it’s a Fox News story. Hey, this is the most concise version I could find!
Anyway, Target took a lot of crap for that costume, and rightfully so! Because illegal aliens are good for America – they do the trick-or-treating American kids won’t do!
Hey, don’t stop and try to make sense of that! Keep reading!
So look, if you want to be ahead of the curve this year, if you want to know what to boycott Target about this Halloween season, listen up, pal, because here it is! And ho ho, brother, it’s a doozy!
Can you believe your eyes?! It’s a child’s Halloween costume of an Indian warrior! Yes, you read right – An Indian warrior! Not a peaceful, maize-sowing Native American scout. But a barbaric “Indian warrior!”
As though the violent “warrior” aspect of this outfit wasn’t disgusting enough, the manufacturers – and by extension, yes!, Target! – openly and brazenly flout the law by referring to the costume as that of an “Indian,” and not the legally-acceptable “Native American!”
I know you’re as outraged as I am by this despicable costume and the message it sends to children, especially if they’re wearing it and happen to see other children dressed as – God forbid! – cowboys, so look: We’re all getting together for a little pow-wow – to discuss exactly how to attack this problem – in the Yuhaviatam Room at San Manuel Indian Bingo and Casino tomorrow morning.
Well, that’s easy: Take the 101 South to the 134, take that to the 210 East for about 35 miles, get off at the Highland Avenue exit, and then a left onto Highland, and take that for almost a mile, and then…