1. Rock On A Stick!

    LIKE AN IDIOT, I haven’t done one of these in a while – despite the fact that each night when I obsessively log into Google Analytics to see just what every single one of you, what, six regulars who visit this blog look at when you’re here, it tells me that the Goodwill posts get the most hits.

    So while it’s possible you people enjoy my Goodwill posts…it’s more likely that this traffic is from Goodwill’s attorneys who are slowly and methodically building an enormous lawsuit against me.

    Anyway, while we all wait for that, here’s something fun!

    There’s a Goodwill thrift store near me and apparently they get a lot of  merchandise from Target that’s either been discontinued, marked for clearance, or returned.

    I’ve gotten a few reasonable deals among this stuff, but unfortunately, in a lot of cases, these items are still priced too high for my meager pocketbook.

    But this one – oh, this one’s a delight:

    What you’re seeing there are geodes, each impaled on a rod jutting up from a base.

    Except they’re fake geodes, made out of (I’m guessing) resin. Or maybe plaster. And the part where the rock is split open, so you can see its wondrous insides…?

    It’s a photograph.

    The photo is printed on very thin material and attached to the flat surface with some sort of adhesive…and each one of these identical fake geodes’ photo surface is dinged and scratched, revealing the white resin (or plaster) beneath.

    Now for some reason – either because they’d become damaged or because they were the most ridiculous thing anyone’s ever seen at Target next to little tiny sleeping bags – for some reason, brother, they weren’t exactly flying off the shelves.

    Solution? Lower the price! In a bold and brilliant move, Target then attached big red “clearance” stickers right on the delicate photo surface.

    Surprise! Still no takers.

    After that they were bundled up together with packing tape (presumably to keep them from banging against one another in transit and thus minimize any further damage…!) and sent to Goodwill…

    …where someone attempted to pull off the clearance stickers (and with it, more of the geode photo), and seeing what they had wrought in doing so, wisely left most of the packing tape intact so as not to damage them any further.

    And then this exact same person, I reckon, this exact same person, wielding a price gun, slapped a Goodwill price sticker right there on the front amid the packing tape and below the other sticker that they were unsuccessful in removing!

    For $4.99 yet!

    So in short, what have we learned? Well, mainly, Target has probably joined Goodwill as a co-plaintiff in that presumed action against me as a result of this post.

    Hey, I don’t care! I’m like Erin Brocklewitz here! I will not be silenced!

    By reading this, you’re all witnesses for the defense now. My attorney will be along presently to take down your deposition.

    Posted by on June 4, 2012, 1:35 AM.

Ted Parsnips: Too Many Kittens! © 2011–2017 Ted Parsnips. All rights reserved. Layout by Andrew Sylvester. All content property of Ted Parsnips or its respective owner, unless otherwise specified.