1. Powerball Mania!

    IT’S sweeping the nation!

    It’s even the top story on Google News as I write this.

    Look! Look!

    Yes! There’s no unrest in Egypt!

    Obama has solved every problem in America!

    And apparently Mitt Romney is neither at Disneyland nor pumping gas today! So why shouldn’t this be the top story?

    Google News lets users personalize their content – how personalized is this? It’s geared to one specific reader: The one who wins the jackpot!

    If someone does!

    Welcome to journalism in the 21st century, folks!

    And then there’s the Powerball site itself in all its Web 1.0 glory:

    An over $500 million jackpot…and the game’s website – complete with ads for refinancing your home (in the off-chance you don’t have the winning ticket) – looks like the project the slow guy on the Ted Parsnips Web Design Team did for his junior high computer class project in 1997.

    So, folks, go ahead and piss your money away on Powerball tickets if you want to. Go ahead! Who’s stopping you?!

    Anyone with a brain in their head knows your only real chance at getting rich is with Scratchers.

    Ooh! Almost!

    Posted by on November 27, 2012, 1:23 PM.

Ted Parsnips: Too Many Kittens! © 2011–2017 Ted Parsnips. All rights reserved. Layout by Andrew Sylvester. All content property of Ted Parsnips or its respective owner, unless otherwise specified.