Hashtag Twinkies Are Back!
Oh my God.
I was in the grocery store a few days ago and you’ll never guess what I saw!
Hostess products! They’re back!
Oh, sure, it’s been in the news for the last week or so, but I finally saw them with my own eyes! Now I know the rumors are true!
Our long national nightmare is finally over!
Now, wait, there’s a sign there I should probably read…
Huh. “Due to overwhelming demand, Hostess currently has limited product supply.”
Now that’s interesting, you see, because – believe it or not – I didn’t have to push my way past anyone to take these photos. There didn’t seem to be any mad rush in the pre-packaged baked goods section. In fact, I was the only one in the aisle. And as it turns out – and maybe my eyes are bad – the shelves seem to have plenty of Hostess product.
Could it be that – perhaps! – last November, the sophisticated epicures who snatched up the last boxes of Donettes, Ho-Hos and Ding Dongs because they just couldn’t live without them eventually realized…that they could? Did someone put them wise that Little Debbie, TastyKake, Blue Bird and half a dozen other companies all make similar items and that Hostess products are not unique in the snack cake industry?
Or is it possible that in 21st century America, where grandiose displays of insincere emotion reign supreme and members of the social media-obsessed populace who were busy trying to outdo one another tweeting 140-character eulogies to the Twinkie never truly cared about it in the first place? It’s been less than a year – could these same people really have become briefly obsessed with dozens of other inconsequential news stories of the day since then, having long forgotten that delicious golden sponge cake and creamy filling?
Say it ain’t so!
But if it is, Hostess 2.0 doesn’t want to start off on the wrong foot. They’re going to want to be upfront about stuff like this. A good way to start would be a slightly more accurate sign.
And whether they use their original sign or the version I’ve thoughtfully suggested, it might be more convincing if the shelves weren’t full.