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Guess Where I Had Lunch!
Go ahead! Guess!
No! Wrong, sir! Wrong!
No, I ate at Bahooka!
Yeah, so, I ate there by myself.
Yes, by myself! Hell, how often do any of us get out to Rosemead these days, anyway? I was out there, alone, on an errand, sure, and as long as I was out there anyway, and in need of lunch, what better place to eat than at Bahooka?
Here’s what I had!
It’s the lunch special; I think it was a cheeseburger. It was too dark to see and frankly I don’t remember. (It comes with three Zombies – the good kind that eat your liver rather than your brain.)
And by “comes with three Zombies” I mean I ordered, separately, three Zombies, because for God’s sake, man, it’s Bahooka, you’ve got to get a Zombie or three. Especially at lunch! Especially when dining alone!
Above: I think this was my booth, but with the lighting, and after three Zombies, who can really say for sure?
Afterward the traditional polynesian businessman’s three-Zombie lunch, I negotiated the veritable rabbit warren of booths in an effort to exit the premises, but much like the Hotel California, you can pay your check at the Bahooka, but you can never leave. Well, it’s not so much that you can never leave, but, really, who would want to?
I don’t even remember where the hell this part is, but you’ll agree it’s magnificent.
I keep trying to convince the missus that we should re-do the bedroom similar to this – like I’ve already done with our island-themed bathroom – but last week the thread holding one of my dried puffer fish broke and the pointy little guy fell on her while she was sitting on the toilet, so she’s put the kibosh on me turning any more of the place into a tiki paradise.
Where was I?
Oh, yes, back at Bahooka. So here’s Rufus.
You’ll recognize him from his appearances on YouTube and also in “Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas.”
He loves to eat carrot sticks but whether or not he enjoys a slurry of half-digested cheeseburger, fries, and Bahooka’s delicious signature coleslaw mixed with three Zombies is unknown – happily for everyone involved, Bahooka’s attentive and efficient waitstaff pulled me off the tank and got me outside before the unthinkable happened.
Aloha!
Ted Parsnips
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