Angry Birds Cheese Nips! A Review!
LIKE YOU, I’m a big fan of the game Angry Birds. I’ve mastered every level available except for this goddamn one:
Apparently it’s impossible to get three stars on it if you’re playing it on a MacBook, which I am. However, as soon as they release a version for my 2007 Samsung Flip Phone (Pay-As-You-Go is the way that I go!) I have a feeling I’ll finally be unlocking that last Golden Egg!
To satisfy my Angry Birds cravings until that happens, I happily discovered last week that the good folks at Rovio, partnering with the gang at Nabisco, have released the latest version in the franchise, Angry Birds Cheese Nips.
I downloaded it off the shelf of my local supermarket into my shopping cart. And since Rovio is famous for providing free updates, if they ever change the packaging design, we needn’t pay for them – it’s simply a matter of ripping open the box and eating them right there in the store. (Just ditch the evidence before you get to the checkout.) By the way, my attorney… —Yeah, yeah, yeah, you know the drill.
Your four main birds are here, the red one, the yellow one, the blue one and the white one, all rendered in amazing whole wheat enriched flour. The boomerang bird is thankfully missing; perhaps due to concerns that it would automatically return – up your esophagus. (Unfounded, I’m sure.) And of course there’s a pig as well:
Oh, it looks like the birds got to him before my photographer did.
Now what’s particularly wonderful, you’ll agree, about Angry Birds Cheese Nips is that the side panel features a handy Angry Birdwatcher’s guide on the side panel:
Let’s go in for a closeup, shall we?
And while it’s of course delightful – it’s also wholly unnecessary! The ‘Nips may not be exact reproductions as though sculpted by Rodin himself out of a solid block of crackermeal, but they are close enough for us to recognize who is who!
…Not the case, sadly, with this bag of cheap Mexican animal crackers I bought the other day!
Why, if any snack is in need of a helpful diagram on its package so that we might identify the shapes, ho ho, brother, it’s this one!
Either that or they should change the name to “Amorphalitos.” Ha! Good one, right?