LOOK at that!  New for 2012, we actually have a little logo for this feature now!

You’re probably saying, “Uh-oh – quality like that cost ol’ Ted plenty – it’s only a matter of time before he starts charging me for access to his site, not unlike the many premium porn sites I’m a member of.  And he’d be right to do so, Ted would, to charge me a bi-weekly fee, that is.”

Don’t you worry:  The site is still free. (Well, for you it is.  But me, I’m hemorrhaging cash just keeping this thing online – my hosting company charges me six dollars per post, and if it features a photo or an inordinate number of letter V’s, hoo boy – that’s when they really stick it to me!)

No, despite the expensive look to that logo, believe it or not, I crafted it myself with nothing more than a camera and a free online photo editor website.  And a little bit of elbow grease, and a small stack of Chips Ahoy! for snack.

Anyway, to celebrate all of that, and the beginning of the new year, we’ve got a special Overpriced Goodwill Item of the Week for you!

What’s more timely for the beginning of January than an Overpriced Goodwill Item of the Week…that’s a calendar…?

Well, I’ll tell you what’s more timely:  A calendar that isn’t a decade old.  Three ninety-nine they want for a completely useless calendar from 2002!

The entire cast of “I Love Lucy” would be rolling in their mass grave if they knew about this thrift store outrage; that is, if they were buried together – but it turns out they weren’t. (I looked it up.)

And I think I speak for all of us when I say that when you have a show that’s so beloved as “I Love Lucy” continues to be some thirty years after it originally went off the air, you want to think that the cast, Lucy and Ricky and Fred and Esther, each one hilarious and unforgettable in his or her own way – Lucy with her hare-brained schemes, Fred with the wacky things he did, and all the rest – were as close off-camera as they were on-camera, and that they stayed in touch with each other until the end of their days, going out to lunch, perhaps shopping, attending each others’ kids’ bar- and bat-mitzvahs, spending holidays together, rollerblading and whatnot.

So taking that to its logical conclusion, wouldn’t that mean that even if they hadn’t agreed to some sort of mass suicide – which I reiterate they didn’t! – wouldn’t that mean that they were so close, that when the time came, they’d all just want to be buried together for all eternity?  I think you’ll find comfort, and a measure of wisdom, in these thoughts.

My attorney, however, thinks we’ll be hearing from Lucie Arnaz.

I’ll tell you what Lucie should do, though – she ought to call Goodwill and demand they remove this thing from the salesfloor.

Three ninety-nine they want!

¡Ay yi yi!

Posted by Ted on January 9, 2012, 2:33 AM.