什麼是良好的只有99美分商店: Nature’s Turn Pickles!

As regular readers of this blog know, I’m always on the lookout for a good, traditional pickle.

You know the kind – good and dilly and garlicky. Tangy – and not without some snap! The kind you’d expect to find on the plate next to your corned beef sandwich at your favorite Jewish delicatessen (in my case Feldman’s On Reseda).

So imagine my surprise when I was at my local 99¢ Only Store some weeks ago and I came across these babies:

Hm, thought I, aloud, worrying the other shoppers, Hm, these so-called “Nature’s Turn All Natural Pickle Spears” are all natural, and they’re from a brand I can trust – Nature’s Turn – not a brand I’ve ever heard of before, but it sounds like a brand I can trust, right? I mean, just that name alone and the slightly awkward logo – a sprouting lima bean (?) – seems trustworthy. And there’s chunks of garlic and seeds and stuff that looks like dill weed at the bottom of the jar – just like you see in those expensive brands in your grocer’s refrigerated deli case.

So I decided sure, I’m game, I’ll gamble 99¢ only on a jar of pickles – why not? What could possibly go wrong?

“Feldman’s On Reseda”…?

I got them home, open them up, fish around in the jar with two fingers (knowing me, probably without washing my hands!) and pull out a pickle spear – and I proceeded to eat it. And then I dove right in with my filthy digits and pulled out another – and I ate that one, too. And another! And another after that! And my father’s father before him! What?!

The point is, these things are great! They’ve all the dillness, all the garlicosity of your higher-priced refrigerated, deli-case and/or Feldman’s On Reseda pickles – without the higher-priced part! Or the refrigerated part! And as the label says there’s no corn syrup in these pickles! As regular readers of this blog know, I’m always on the lookout for a corn syrup-free pickle!  …”Feldman’s?”

Right then and there – right then and there, brother, I decided I would declare Nature’s Turn All Natural Pickle Spears this week’s

item!

Ah, but then! Then I read on the back of the label: PRODUCT OF CHINA.

Oh no. Oh no no no no no. I’m so sorry – but despite how delicious they are, I can’t in good conscience endorse these pickles as this week’s What’s Bueno at the 99¢ Only Store item. There’s just no way.

No.

They are however this week’s 什麼是良好的只有99美分商店 item.

Mazel tov!

Posted by Ted on April 11, 2012, 12:01 AM.