Time Travel Is Possible! And It’s – yes! – 99¢ Only!
WALK into your local 99¢ Only store and be propelled headlong four months into the future!
Today, January 5, hapless non-99¢ Only shoppers are still stuck in the last of the twelve days of Christmas. For them, Easter is a grueling, never-ending 105 days away! That’s almost a third of a year! Oh my God, will it ever get here?!
But for us, the 99¢ Only faithful, we can bypass all that torturous waiting and just bunny-hop down the aisle in our Easter Sunday finest, thanks to the good folks at 99¢ Only who have managed to break the laws of physics and gotten us into the middle of April merely by entering the store.
My, my – how time does fly! It seems like only yesterday when we were finishing up the last few candies from our heart-shaped boxes of chocolates and taking down all our Valentine’s Day decorations!