Reviewing the June 7th Elections’ Best Mailers!
AS REGULAR READERS of this blog know, yesterday California voters went to the polls — that is to say, in the last few weeks, California voters mailed in their absentee ballots, because who has time to go to the polls today? None of us, that’s what! Especially here in Los Angeles, where things were so confusing at your place of envotement, your vote wouldn’t have counted anyway!
Anyway, this is not a political blog, but one thing we all enjoy is when I review the stupid political flyers I receive for local elections — like I did here and here…and to a lesser extent, here — and this year it’s been another bumper crop.
The final tally:
Janice Kamenir-Reznik: 5 mailers for, 1 against
Matt Dababneh: 15 mailers
Shawn Bayliss: 2 mailers
David Pollock: 1 mailer
Henry Stern: 16 mailers for, 4 against
Steve Fazio: 3 mailers
Sleazy ‘Voter Guides’ Designed to Look Vaguely Official: 6 mailers
As happens during every election season, I just throw out the first few days’ worth of these mailers until I notice they’re so numerous that I realize it could be a thing on the blog — at which point I start keeping them. So the actual totals are a bit higher, probably.
But counting those alone: That’s a grand total of (at least) 53 mailers that were sent to me. Honestly, they don’t make a bit of difference as to how I cast my vote. Crazy talk radio and paranoia-ridden websites with flashing neon text on a black background — that’s how I research the candidates!
As to the mailers, here are some of my, and now your, favorites:
You won’t be able to read beneath “Henry,” but it says “A Nutty Blend of Big Oil, Big Energy and Big Auto Contributions — 0% Truth. 100% Hypocrisy.”
Like you do, I love that they used an Oh Henry! candy bar for this anti-Henry Stern ad. And like you, it drives me crazy that they didn’t put the “Nutty Blend” copy above “Henry” and “Stern” below it. Or better yet, just leave “Stern” out, because it’s completely unnecessary with his face on the wrapper and his full name in the line below the art. As it is, it reads like “Oh Stern Henry!”
The back side, or verso [industry term], takes it down to pool-scene-in-Caddyshack levels (though they used a Baby Ruth bar):
It’s probably a safe assumption that whoever put this ad together didn’t waste a lot of time getting permission from Nestlé.
Here’s one for Matt Dababneh:
Here Matt goes after the all-important puppy and bunny vote. The verso, or reverse, of this shows one more rabbit, two more puppies, two adult dogs, two cats and a bird. And it also mentions what he’s done to protect wild and domestic animals. Folks, this being touchy-feely LA…? This ad is brilliant.
This one’s pro-Henry Stern:
I’m a big fan of this one because it’s so bizarre. In fact, it’s so complicated to explain that it requires the flyer to fold out to 11 x 17 to give us the details. And it’s not that interesting. So as a successful political mailer, I’d give it a 3 out of 10, at best. But for weirdness, at least an 8.
Speaking of animals, as we were a few mailers back, here’s another anti-Stern mailer:
The “NOTHING” is in response to the copy on the other side: “Sacramento bureaucrat Henry Stern got a free trip to Peru. What did we get?”
The thing to note, however, is this is probably the first time in American political history that an alpaca has appeared on an election mailer.
Yet another anti-Henry Stern mailer:
Here we see Henry knocking on doors, shaking hands, while a bunch of “Special Interests” groups offer him money and gifts.
I especially like these three villainous types, just as — we must presume — you do. We’ve got the requisite “Fat Cat,” a generic masked bandit who looks like one of the Special Guest Villain’s minions on any episode of the 1960s Batman, and behind him, apparently, Cthulhu.
Henry struck back with this ad which answers a question no one asked:
(The answer, in case you’re interested: “Corporate Special Interests.” Like you, I thought it was maybe the opposing candidate’s, I dunno, grandmother or milkman or someone.)
But the important thing to take away from this mailer is, 1) whoever designs these things loves those horrible oversized Ben-Day dots; judging by the look on her face, this woman is not only extremely impressionable but also very invested in this race for California State Senate District 27; and most importantly, evidently there was another anti-Henry Stern ad using these same three villains but drawn by a different artist…and they didn’t send it to me!
Look, candidates, if you’re going to cram my mailbox with useless crap like this, you might as well send me all of them.
The good news is there’s a runoff election in November with Stern in it and with that — more mailers!